Rocks

A round of Words in 80 DaysA proper check-in this time, woohoo go me. I’m still not over the ickies, but they boy is, and no shit, that’s even better than me being well.

So I’m amusing myself to no end, my contrary nature never ceases to amaze. I set out this round to specifically not write fiction, to focus on expository, and wouldn’t you know it, fiction is all that’s coming.

“I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.” ― Flannery O’Connor

That’s part of it, I think. I need to work out what I think on certain subjects, and it’s easier to do that in fiction than non. Plus, I doubt many people actually give a fuck about my opinions and thoughts on the metaphysical, so why stress trying to write a cohesive essay, why not just make up a story around it?

I did get some expository in, just over 1,000 words, but I’ll be honest, it was a scheduled piece, it wasn’t just ‘hey let’s write this thing’.

So goals:

Word count is 12,889. If my calculations are correct I’m still about five days ahead of the game. Fucking a. I’m so proud of myself 😀

Also ran not one but two pieces in the magazine this week. Feast or famine, I tell you. Next week it will probably be back to famine. I’m absolutely consistent in my inconsistencies.

At any rate, I am on target all the way around. Go dog, go!

 

 

Head Like a Hole

A round of Words in 80 DaysIt’s tempting to blow off another check-in but it’s been way too long since I have. I spent last weekend being horribly sick (what the fuck is up with being sick this year?), and this week both digging out from under it and being strangely productive in other areas. In other words, no words. Or, not many.

Although I just looked it up, 1698. Which is definitely more than not many. So grand total is 10171, which is right about on target?

Oh shit, just did the math on that, I’m still running over a week ahead. we’re 42 days in and I should be at 8400.

Yay. Maybe having my graphics card shit the bed  desk won’t totally wreck me. Thank the Gods my writing is all stored on the external drive. Smart thinking there, Brenda.

It’s also tempting to back out of here without mentioning my unwritten goal … which means, of course, that I’ve not hit it. Truth is not only have I not hit it, I’ve not even come close. It’s not for lack of trying, I have an electronic trash can slap full of electronic balls of paper. Everything I try to write gets stuck, and it’s so hard to hush up the asshole in my head who loves to tell me I have nothing relevant to say to a group of clever and bookish women, since I’m neither.

So word count, great, article count, sucks like an Electrolux. But I’m here, and I’m even going to say hi to the fb group (finally). I’ll still count it as a win.

There Aren’t Enough Sunday Song Titles/It’s Now Monday-Monday Anyway.

364 in draft

2700 in fiction

5409 accrued

8473 Grand total.

More than halfway there, and that’s a good feeling. I’m really surprised at this week’s fiction output. I hadn’t planned on it, it just popped in to visit one day, and what else can you do with that except roll with it?

And you know, the more I do it the more I realize what my main problem is getting longer pieces of fiction finished. It’s not momentum or interest (or lack thereof), it that I tell myself the story in big scene chunks, and then have no fucking clue how to stitch the big pieces into a finished quilt. And after so long of trying I just chuck it and go on to something else.

~*~

One unexpected thing I’m learning from the check-in is no matter how much I want to embrace the social aspect of it, I can’t get past being a big ball of fail. I swear I’ve forgotten how to social. I read a good portion of the check-in posts, but when I try to follow through with the comment aspect I kind of freeze (same thing on the fb page). It’s just not a fast, simple thing, leaving a comment  on any kind of piece. Even answering comments on my own, I suck at it, it takes me forever, and I just don’t have forever to spend on the commenting. It’s the age old dilemma — do we live in the moment, or live-blog the moment  Do I write, or write about writing?

Which is the long way to say I really wish I was better at connecting with everyone doing the challenge. Maybe that can be part of the goals next round.

Optimistic – Sunday Check-in

I keep missing the Wednesday check-in, so I think I’m going to just make a point to ignore it for a while. Once a week is going to have to do.

I wonder too if has anything to do with not getting a whole lot of writing done? I’m still fighting with the crud and finding the fucks to give takes more energy than I can spare.

I did get a couple of things written this week, so it’s not a total bust. Nothing for P-Mag yet — my struggle there is a constant hectoring voice that I just don’t have anything relevant to say to the readers. I can’t pretend to be a journalist, so what am I doing there?

See? I’m doing it again, letting doubt creep in and stain up my thoughts. Not good.

Anyway, word count is up to 5409, which still has me almost a full week ahead of schedule. Yay.

Now if I can just get everything else in line I’ll be golden.

Sunday Morning Coming Down – Check Point

A round of Words in 80 DaysI’ll be honest I didn’t even look for a check in Wednesday. Nor have I managed to reply to the messages left on my last check-in post. It’s been a long week, complete with a couple of bugs going through the house. We aren’t just getting sick, we’re getting sick, getting better, and then getting sick again. Blech. The good news is it all seems to be swerving away from the little guy. A thousand cheers for that.

The other good news is even with all the crap going on and around, I’m still managing to stay in the groove. I can’t count it all — a lot has been over on my personal blogger account — but that’s ok. I think I’m still good with word count.

Let’s see. I should be around 2,800. I’m at … holy fuck.

4,179

Two weeks in and I’m a quarter of the way there.

stfy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I even hit on my not-official goal — a big chunk of that word count is a piece running Thursday at Perspehone. Plus I’ve been keeping up with my personal blog. Ok, mostly keeping up, I did take two days off, but I’m still going to count it as a win.

I’ll be honest I need all the wins I can get. I need a success. I need this to be a success. I’m slowing starting to realize just how far away  I am from where I want to be. That sucks but it’s fixable, you know? So long as I keep going I’ll get there.

But it’s a long strange trip, and sometimes it’s a hard one as well, and if I don’t get some blue ribbons along the way I’m very likely to just say fuck it.

So when I start thinking I’m Billy Badass and should just move the goal bar up a bit, I’m going to talk myself out of it. I can’t claim success until I hit the goal, so maybe I should just get there first – then I can break my arm patting myself on the back.

Until then, I’m just going to keep moving.

Sunday Check-In

A round of Words in 80 DaysI’m still not sure if I love or hate how close together the check-points are. Right now I love it because I always come off the line accelerating hard. I may not have been a very busy bee right here at M&S, but I have two pieces on the schedule next week at Persephone. I won’t cross-post them here, but fucking a, I damn sure will count them. Which makes my running count very comfortably in the black.

2,548/16,000

I can actually take most of the next week off if I want. The way the last couple of days have gone I just might need to, but … you know, it’s really not that hard to pick a random noun from my head — or the internet — and bang out 200 words. So even if I do one or two this week I’m that much further ahead.

I have to admit it’s so much easier to write when it’s merely padding the lead rather than struggling to hit last place.

Checkpoint

I’m off like a rocket, which doesn’t surprise me. Starting has never been the problem for me, just continuing and finishing. But hey, that’s one of the reasons I didn’t set daily or weekly goals — this great start will be a nice cushion when the struggling starts.

Three days in I’m at 1018/16,000, with one piece in the uni at Persephone.

dance

Fingers crossed I’ll still be on track come Sunday. Goals still stand as is.